One Lump or Two

During one classic Bugs Bunny cartoon, the clever rabbit is playing host to a hungry, scheming lion dressed as a friendly old lady. In the scene, Bugs asks if his guest would like one lump of sugar or two. When the lion responds, Bugs Bunny whips out a hammer and delivers the requested number of lumps directly to the lion’s head. For some of us, making decisions can feel just like that. The issue is not whether or not we’ll get knocked in the head; it’s a matter of how many lumps we’ll get in the process. So in order to avoid the lumps we think we will get, we avoid making the decision altogether. If we view decision making as a function of freedom, as the price one pays for Powering On and Powering Forward, then making a decision moves from a thing to be avoided to an opportunity for change.
Two weeks ago, a friend of mine discovered that her husband had been having an affair for the past three months. Her initial reaction was anger, shock, dismay, fear and more anger (a lot more anger). And-much to her husband’s dismay-she was very clear in articulating her reaction. And she could have decided to remain rooted to her reaction. But she knew that in order to Power through to the next minute, she needed to make a decision. And then she would need to make another decision. And then another. Because reactions speak to the temporary, to the” how-I-feel-now”. Responses, however, go beyond “how-I feel-now” to “how-I-want-to-be”. A response is predicated on a decision. Not a right decision or a wrong decision, but a decision. A decision says this is what I want to see happen and this is what I am willing to do to make it happen. There is no right or wrong in that. There may be a need to make a different decision if something different needs to happen but different doesn’t mean right or wrong, it means something else is needed to make something happen.
An hour after she found out about the affair, he was packed up and headed to his brother’s house. The next day she decided he needed to move to their out-of-state house. Then she decided that his being an unfaithful spouse wasn’t going to relieve him of his daddy duties and so he had to be there for morning wake up, lunch making and bedtime duty. The day after that she decided she would kick their tenant out, move him into the downstairs apartment and charge him rent-she hadn’t decided if he was going to pay market value. Changing her decisions is not a sign of weakness or insecurity. Nor does it mean that she hasn’t cried, cursed and cried some more. But it is confirmation that as she gets clearer, she thinks clearer ensuring that her decisions come from clarity not chaos. Making a decision is a Power Move. Making a decision is a declaration which states that in the face of uncertainty or upheaval, you are able to choose a course of action which will move you closer to where you want to be. Sometimes you will move in a straight line, sometimes you will need to move in a way which has you circling back, but still see you progressing. And sometimes you will need to stop and be still. But that is also a decision.
Last week, she made the decision to ask him move back home. She also decided that her decisions would be based on what was best for her and her family and not on what the court of public opinion offered. Ultimately, what she decided was that she is the best person to decide what is best for her. Decisions don’t stop the lumps from coming; they may not even do much in the way of limiting the lumps we get. BUT making decisions can change the way experience the lumps because each decision we make moves us from power-less to Power-Full.
Are you ready to decide?
The Movement is YOU Making Decisions!!